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The Most Hilariously Sad Thing You’ll Read All Day

December 5, 2012

Sad RepublicanPerhaps after the election we just had you were hoping to never read poll results again, but this is just too good to pass up. It seems Republicans are not handling the election results very well. The tenuous grasp some of these folks had on reality to begin with seems to have eroded altogether. Case in point:

49% of GOP voters nationally say they think that ACORN stole the election for President Obama. We found that 52% of Republicans thought that ACORN stole the 2008 election for Obama, so this is a modest decline, but perhaps smaller than might have been expected given that ACORN doesn’t exist anymore. (PPP)

ZOMG! Zombie ACORN stole the election! Makes perfect sense if you think about it. I mean, it’s either that or that you got your butts shellacked because the country doesn’t like your policies. And that couldn’t be it, could it?

Now, a few crazies are always going to  believe whackadoodle theories like a zombie ACORN stealing an election. But 49%?!? How can 49% of GOP voters be that divorced from reality? The answer seems to be that they’re part of a shrinking group willing to still identify as Republican.

Our final poll before the election […] found 39% of voters identifying themselves as Democrats and 37% as Republicans. Since the election we’ve seen a 5 point increase in Democratic identification to 44%, and a 5 point decrease in Republican identification to 32%. (PPP)

Ah ha! So some GOP voters have simply fled an obviously sinking ship, and about half of those left on board are blaming the rising waters on flaming unicorn ponies, rather than getting busy baling. It’s all clear now.

Another interesting finding:

The 39% of Americans with an opinion about Bowles/Simpson is only slightly higher than the 25% with one about Panetta/Burns, a mythical Clinton Chief of Staff/former western Republican Senator combo we conceived of to test how many people would say they had an opinion even about something that doesn’t exist.

That’s right, folks: 25% of Americans will always have an opinion on something. Even if it doesn’t exist.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. December 5, 2012 11:11 pm

    I find the Panetta/Burns scenario more angering than amusing. The notion that so many people would rather lie than admit they simply don’t know the answer is greatly disturbing. It’s one reason why the more sophisticated the polling question, the less I take seriously any poll of average Americans.

  2. mikey2ct permalink
    December 5, 2012 6:10 pm

    Where have you been ? I missed you. Hurricane Sandy ?

  3. December 5, 2012 5:24 pm

    I think the other 51% know it was the aliens.

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